So this past weekend marked a momentous occasion for me. First of all, I got all of my Christmas shopping done on time. I’m a huge procrastinator, but this year, $400 in gift certificates, plus a few clicks at amazon kept me ahead of the game and out of the over crowded malls.
Well until, my niece arrived to my moms and announced that she needed some new apparel. Well, she didn’t really say this, but she was wearing some pants that hovered over her socks even while she stood. Don’t get me started on how the hems of her pants ended near her knees once she took a seat… I can imagine that she dresses herself, and these are probably her favorite pair of pants, as she has an “angel” shirt that matches perfectly.
We ended up in the waste dump that was formerly known as JC Penny on Christmas Eve. And the “formerly” that I’m referring to was probably a week ago, when you perused the clothes on shelves or hangers, instead of searching for a size throughout the trampled and scattered clothing on the floor, near the shelves where cute little folded tees were once properly displayed. Once we finally found her some South Pole separates, we were ready to move on. And we didn’t mention to her that people seeking Urban wear no longer looked to South Pole, as it’s been downgraded to JCP and Sears. We’ll keep her in South Pole for the rest of her urban gear loving life though, as we love the price…
Then we were off to Oldnavy, which looked like it had been looted. Finally we found the girl some jeans. We wanted to buy her two pair, but to no avail, we had to settle. I was so exasperated by then. I still stood in line at See’s Candies for an hour and a half too. All I wanted to do is relax. And maybe add a few finished blogs to my draft box for future posting, sans the haste. But here I am, rapidly typing, as it is past my bedtime. But I wanted to have something for those returning to Lolo’s Cube duringthe work week. Not much cohesiveness, no pictures or razzle dazzle, but for those still reading, lets get down to the naughtyness…
Lolo Gets Naughty… So my second part of this momentous weekend came in my first attendance of a naughty girl party. Hmm, I felt so at home; so with like minds, except for a few. *sigh* We’ll get to those in a moment. But let me start by saying, in my Cedric the Entertainer voice, “I’m a grown azz woman dawwwg…” I didn’t have much expectation for the party. I just knew that naughty things would be displayed in a naughty setting. The setting was my bff’s apartment. She was throwing the shindig. She attends many of these parties, and has thrashed me a time or two for flaking as her partner in naughty girl partyness. But I was the first to arrive. Once the others party goers and the very conservative, maybe even virgin-looking host arrived, it was on and cracking. We were given a clip board with a very nice looking gentleman on one side and the other side held an order form and catalogue. I, just like the rest of the guest, started perusing the book and earmarking pages for later conversations, as well as sharing our likes dislikes of certain products. The host announced a few games that would be ongoing throughout the night. The first game of the night came in the form of name tags. We were giving name tags with some interesting names of certain bodily objects, functions or sexual phrases, all preceded by Ms. And when one person witnessed another person addressing anyone by a name other than that one on the name tag, the witnessing person could take her name tag. The person with the most tags at the end of the night would win a goody bag. OK, I didn’t win. I just couldn’t bring myself to call my best friend’s mother Ms. Clitoris… The second ongoing game was the “pen!s” game. Whenever the host said the word pen!s, the first of the guest to immediately scream the word would get a prize. Then it went on, but the person to scream pen!s after the host’s second and ongoing pen!ses, would take the prize from the previous pen!s screamer. The last pen!s screamer would keep the prize. The first actual game we played that night was bingo. We were given a card with 9 squares and a blank line under the squares. The squares were in rows and columns of 3. We were to put any number from 1 to 30 into each box. In the single line under the squares, we were supposed to write a phrase that we would say in bed while having sex. The hosts took all our cards, shuffled them, and then issued each person a card completed by another guest. The host then called out a number from 1 to 30 and each time a single number on your card was called, you had to scream the phrase at the bottom of the card, no matter how naughty or weird. Omgness, this was a hoot. My card said something like, “that’s it daddy, pull my hair, hit it just like that, deeper oh yes deeper!!!”. Most of the other’s said something similar, except my best friend’s, which just simply said, “Dayum Daddy!!!” So with each number called, approximately 5 of us would be moaning out our phrase, and my bff would come in at the end and simply say, “Dayum Dadddy!!!” It was hilarious. The best bingo I ever played. So eventually, she passed around some of her featured items. Though I don’t have the time to find links to everything as it is getting late, and my procrastination has gotten the best of me, I’ll post a few tips that I learned at the party. They’re all fallatiotic inclined, maybe a TMI for some, but if you’ve read this far…
-Hum, while you’re doing the act. Makes a lot of senses as this creates a
vibrating feeling, and who doesn’t like vibrations.
-Take a bullet and place it in your fist, then put your fist under his oo. Or use a bullet or rabbit with a sleeve for direct skin contact. Ok, at first, I thought the hostess was trying to sell more products, but all the other ladies at the party were in
agreement.
-Last but not least, there’s some cream that numbs your throat, i.e. gag reflex. I think it’s called Good Head. The ladies swear by it.
So I told my lil sis about these tips and they already knew. What the heyell. I’m the oldest. My baby sis was saying that she has to get her some more Good Head, as she’s running low. I didn’t see that coming.
All in all, I’m very interested in becoming a sales person and hostess to these types of parties. I also want to start another blog, maybe named naughty cube (hmm, wonder if the names taken) to document some ideas and give reviews and feedback on some of my favorite items. Hmm… We’ll see… I’m already real edumacated in this field…
I almost forgot. There was a little girl there. Well, she was 20 years old. She kept repeating her age and saying that she didn’t need any of that stuff because she gets some everyday. Well, what did that have to do with anything? None of the ladies there were even single, and I was texting Sweetums throughout the whole night, so he could help me figure out which item to purchase or pass. Anywho, the chile was seated right next to me and getting on my last nerve. Doesn’t she know that it gets greater later… The things I knew then was nothing compared to what I know now. I just wanted to take a d!ldo off the table and hit the girl upside her head with it.
Dec 26, 2007 at 16:28:00
Dayum Girl, you been busy!
Dec 27, 2007 at 01:25:00
HILARIOUS!!!!!
Good stuff… Ive never went to one of those parties… lets just say I educated myself on those… anyway, happy holidays to you too!! Im getting to the tag thingy maybe today or tomorrow!!